THE MAGNIFICENT WARRIORS

Written by Glen A. Larson

Transcribed by Clay Arden for ByYourCommand.net

 

 

(Vipers are pursued by Cylon Raiders.)

 

CENTURION

Prepare to attack Colonial warriors.

 

(Dogfight ensues.)

 

STARBUCK

How many got by our advance intercept?

 

BOOMER

I counted six.  Hopefully, the Galactica’ll be able to clean them up before they do too much damage. 

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

APOLLO (over communicator)

Long-range intercept to fleet.  This is Blue Leader.  Come in, Galactica.

 

OMEGA

This is Galactica, Blue Leader.

 

APOLLO

Better put on your bracers and hang on.  A few of them got through. 

 

ADAMA

Order red alert.

 

OMEGA

Yes, sir. 

 

ADAMA

Notify all ships of the fleet we expect imminent attack from unknown number of Cylons. 

 

(Vipers in space)

 

JOLLY

Greenbean, form on me.  There’s a pair going after the agro ships on the perimeter.

 

GREENBEAN

You would worry about that.  They hit those birds, you’ll have nothing to eat, Jolly.

 

JOLLY

That isn’t funny, Greenbean.  Hurry! 

(Cylons attack and destroy two agro ships)

Holy—!

(he and Greenbean save the third agro ship from the attacking Cylons)

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

OMEGA

Commander, Cylons withdrawing.  All but two destroyed. 

 

ADAMA

All right.  Cancel red alert.

 

OMEGA

Yes, sir.

 

ADAMA

(exhales in relief)

Damage reports. 

 

TIGH

You aren’t going to like it.  Two of our agro ships are destroyed.

 

ADAMA

(sighs)

What about the third?

 

TIGH

She suffered heavy damage.  Lost her airlock. 

 

ADAMA

Well, that’s repairable.

 

(on the agro ship)

 

CARMICHAEL

It’s just like you see.  When we lost our airlock, we lost our crop.  We won’t be able to force-grow enough to feed our planters, let alone anyone else in the fleet. 

 

TIGH

Okay, we’ve fixed the airlock.  Do you need more planters, more nutrients for the soil?  Whatever you need, you’ve got it.

 

CARMICHAEL

We need new seed.

 

TIGH

New seed?

 

CARMICHAEL

New seed.

 

(Adama’s quarters)

 

ADAMA

Yes, I know, Colonel, but it’s not a complete disaster.  That small planet that our advance patrol discovered in that quadrant not too far out of the way—

 

TIGH

Yes?

 

ADAMA

Well, now it appears there’s a small human agricultural settlement there. 

 

TIGH

That’s too good to be true. 

 

ADAMA

And I’ve asked Apollo to get an energizer from one of the older ships in the fleet. 

 

TIGH

I don’t think I follow.

 

ADAMA

Ah.  The point is, there isn’t an outpost in the star system that doesn’t need more power, to sustain life.  I figure we get an old energizer to trade for new seeds. 

 

TIGH

Well, then, what’s the problem?  We have energizers all over this battlestar.  They run everything we have. 

 

ADAMA

But they have Colonial markings all over them.  What we need is an old energizer with no markings at all, so no one will know who we are, and no one can sell us out to the Cylons. 

 

(Door chime sounds.)

 

TIGH

Hmm.

 

ADAMA

Enter. 

(Apollo enters)

Apollo, did you find an energizer that might fit the bill? 

 

APOLLO

Uhh, yes. 

 

ADAMA

Good.

 

APOLLO

It was made on Orion.

 

ADAMA

Excellent, excellent! 

 

TIGH

Well, that’s perfect.  Nobody would know it’s from the Colonies.

 

APOLLO

Uh—

 

ADAMA

Uh, what’s the matter?

 

APOLLO

Well, the woman who owns it doesn’t want to give it up. 

 

ADAMA

The woman?

 

APOLLO

Siress Belloby.

 

TIGH

Well, then, Captain, we’ll just have to appropriate Siress Belloby’s energizer and get it down to the planet.

 

APOLLO

As I said, she’s not willing to give it up.

 

TIGH

Captain, to save every man, woman, and child from starvation?  We’ll just have to talk to her.

 

APOLLO

That’s exactly what she said, Colonel.  Only she wants Commander Adama to talk to her.

 

TIGH

Well, what’s the problem, Adama?  You just order her to give it up.

 

ADAMA

You don’t understand, Tigh.  No one “orders” Siress Belloby to do anything. 

 

(Shuttle approaches Gemini freighter.)

 

APOLLO

Galactica shuttle requesting permission to dock with Gemini freighter.

 

(Inside the freighter, Adama nervously carries flowers to Belloby’s quarters, escorted by Tigh and Apollo.)

 

ADAMA

(starting to turn back)

This isn’t gonna work.

 

APOLLO

Oh, no, you don’t.  This isn’t something you can avoid.

 

ADAMA

Ah – Apollo, you go in.  You charm her.

 

APOLLO

Oh, no. 

 

BELLOBY (OS)

Come in, Adama. 

 

ADAMA

All right.  Let’s go in. 

 

(Tigh opens door.)

 

APOLLO

After you. 

 

(Adama enters and Apollo abruptly closes door behind him.)

 

BELLOBY

To think that I would have the honor of having the great Commander Adama visit me in my humble little dwellings. 

 

ADAMA

The pleasure is mine, Belloby.

 

BELLOBY

Then please, sit down.

 

ADAMA

Thank you.

 

BELLOBY

It’s been a long, long time.  Flowers?  For me?  Ohh, I thought this was a business call.

 

ADAMA

Uh, well, a man can always take the time to recognize the beauties of life. 

 

BELLOBY

(bursts out laughing)

Oh, you must need that energizer so badly!  Sit! 

(Adama sits)

All right, then, let’s negotiate. 

 

ADAMA

Uh, what do you want in return for the energizer? 

 

BELLOBY

Oh, Adama.  After all these years, I think that should be obvious.  I – want – you.

 

(Adama exits Belloby’s quarters in shock, saying nothing to Tigh or Apollo.)

 

(Adama’s quarters)

 

APOLLO

There’s no reason for you to go. 

 

ADAMA

I have been cooped up on this ship for sixteen quatrons.  I’m going on this mission, and we are now in range.

 

APOLLO

Father, you’re desperately needed here. 

 

ADAMA

Apollo, if we don’t have seeds, we don’t have food.  If we don’t have food, we will all perish.  So please stop making all these objections and get the launch ready with short-range provisions for five!

 

(Boomer and Starbuck shrug.)

 

APOLLO

Yes, sir. 

 

ADAMA

“Yes, sir.”

 

APOLLO

(starts to leave with the others, then turns back)

Wait a minute.  You, me, Starbuck, Boomer, that makes four of us.

 

ADAMA

Siress Belloby will be going along with us.

 

APOLLO

Siress Belloby on a mission?

 

ADAMA

(sighs)

 

APOLLO

Uh, father, just what did you have to promise her in return for that energizer?

 

ADAMA

I made a promise to court her.  I did not specify when, or where, and I certainly will not embarrass you.  So let’s stop this talking, get on with it, get it over with, because we must have those seeds! 

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

TIGH

The planet Sectar.  Stand by to launch mission.

 

(In Blue Squadron barracks, Apollo gets dressed for the mission.)

 

BOXEY

You’re leaving me alone again.

 

APOLLO

Uh, Boxey, I’m a warrior, and it’s necessary sometimes to go on missions to places where it might not be safe for a little boy. 

 

BOXEY

Aren’t you just going to get fresh seeds? 

 

APOLLO

(with a laugh)

Yeah, but there’s – You know sump’m?  You’re right.  There’s nothing dangerous about this mission.  If Siress Belloby can go, why not you, right?

 

BOXEY

And Muffey?

 

APOLLO

Of course Muffey.

 

BOXEY

Yeah!  Yeah!

 

APOLLO

(laughs)

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

OMEGA

Standing by to launch.  All functions transferred to shuttle. 

 

TIGH

Launch. 

 

(Shuttle launches.)

 

BELLOBY

(to Adama)

An adventure to a distant star.  Oh, isn’t it downright romantic? 

 

(Caption:  “THE PLANET SECTAR IN QUADRANT ZETA STARTIME 00147002”)

 

ADAMA (VO)

Equally important to our quest for food seed, the planet our advance scouts located supports a small band of human inhabitants.  Perhaps they’re the remnants of pioneers who set out yahrens ago from our own colonies. 

(Caption:  “SERENITY / A SMALL AGRO COMMUNITY”)

Or even more hopefully, they might be descendants of the thirteenth tribe, those elusive brothers of man whose trail might lead us to the planet Earth. 

 

DIPPER

(exits the saloon, sees the full moon, and rushes back inside in a panic)

Bogan!  The moon is up! 

 

BOGAN

Get the lights.

(hurries out with Dipper)

 

(The patrons scramble for cover as a woman bars the door.  The Borays ride toward the town.)

 

(constable’s office)

 

BOGAN

Farnes, I hate to tell ya, but — it’s time.

 

FARNES

As if I didn’t know.  You can feel the whole herd comin’ right at us.  And a lot of good this’ll do. 

(indicating his rifle)

Wouldn’t stop a hedgehopper.

 

BOGAN

They’re herd creatures.  Your mere presence’ll stop them from staying and pillaging the town.  

 

DIPPER

It’s their way.  All you have to do is stand out there.  Make a show of force. 

 

FARNES

Is that what the last constable did?  The one before him?  The one before him? 

 

BOGAN

If there’s one thing this town despises more than the Borays, it’s cowardice.  Once a man accepts that badge—

 

FARNES

I know, I know.  He’s got it for life, however long that is.  Well, let’s get this over with.

(goes outside, fires one shot toward the Borays, and is swiftly killed by a spear before the Borays ride off again)

 

TOWNSPEOPLE

(emerging from hiding)

They got him.

Did they—?

Oh, my God, he—

Did they get him?

They got him.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

Yeah, they sure did.

Is he – is he—?

 

BOGAN

(taking the badge off Farnes’ lifeless body as crowd gathers around)

Poor Constable Farnes. 

 

DIPPER

He was one of the best we ever had. 

 

BOGAN

Yeah. 

(addressing the crowd, some of whom are already saying “not me”)

I don’t suppose there are any volunteers to take Farnes’ place? 

 

TOWNSPEOPLE

(turning away)

Don’t do it.

Not me.

No, no.

 

DIPPER

You may as well save your breath.  Nobody in his right mind’s gonna accept that badge. 

 

BOGAN

I’m afraid you’re right, Dipper.  We’ll just have to hope and pray that another drifter passes through Serenity before the next high moon. 

 

(shuttle landing site)

 

STARBUCK

Sure wish I could go with you, Boomer.  I could use a little diversion.  I, uh, hear you guys spotted some, uh, lady types on the settlement?

 

BOOMER

Well, there were a few that we—

 

BOXEY

Muffey wanted to know if they had any ’nother daggits around.

 

BOOMER

Oh, well, we’re gonna make that a priority probe as soon as Apollo and I get down to the settlement, Boxey. 

 

ADAMA

Well, the energizer seems well secured. 

 

BELLOBY

Adama, let the younger men worry about the energizer.  This is a time for intoxicating scenery, unfiltered air, and—

 

ADAMA

Yes, yes, yes.

 

BELLOBY

— letting our emotions soar.

 

ADAMA

Well—

 

APOLLO

(clears throat)

I hate to interrupt, father—

 

ADAMA

No, no, no, that’s perfectly all right. 

 

APOLLO

— but Boomer and I are all set to go into Serenity.

 

ADAMA

Uh, n-no!  No, I – I want you to stay here.  You’ve spent little enough time with Boxey and me.  Let them get on with their mission. 

 

APOLLO

(to Starbuck and Boomer)

Well, I guess you heard him.  Get in the sled and get going. 

 

BELLOBY

(sighs)

I was hoping we might have had a chance to be alone. 

 

ADAMA

Oh, well, uh, w-we must be very careful not to lose our way of getting off this planet.  If anything were to happen to our ship, that would be the end of everything. 

 

BELLOBY

You mean we’d have to—

(suddenly delighted)

You mean we’d have to spend the rest of our lives on this quaint little planet? 

(with a laugh)

Oh, just the two of us?

 

ADAMA

(laughing nervously)

Ah, heh, well—

 

STARBUCK

Back before you know it.

(drives off with Boomer)

 

APOLLO

See that you are.

 

ADAMA

Good luck!

 

BELLOBY

(embraces Adama)

Well, at least we have this time alone.

 

ADAMA

Uh, Belloby, please, eh, n-not in front of the children.

 

(The power sled arrives in front of the saloon.)

 

STARBUCK

This looks like the only place that’s open, Boomer.

 

BOOMER

It doesn’t sound like the sort of place one goes to, uh, trade an— (laughs) an energizer for seed.

 

STARBUCK

Well, uh, we gotta start askin’ questions someplace.

 

(They head into the saloon.)

 

(in the saloon)

 

BOGAN

Ahh, it looks like another full moon tonight, Dipper. 

 

DIPPER

Well, don’t look at me.  Unless we find another down-on-his-luck prospector or some poor unwitting strangers, we are just out of luck.

 

STARBUCK

Boomer, we’re in luck.  This is my kinda town.

 

BOGAN

Well, well. 

(laughs)

What have we here?

 

(a few seconds later)

 

STARBUCK

Uh, excuse me.  They told us you’re the man to see.

 

BOGAN

Depends.  My name’s Bogan. 

 

STARBUCK

Oh, eh, Starbuck.  This here’s my friend, Boomer.

 

BOOMER

(nods)

 

STARBUCK

We’re, uh, looking for someone to talk to about an agron purchase?

 

BOGAN

You boys farmers? 

 

BOOMER

Uh, yep.

 

STARBUCK

Uhh, well, my father and I run a pretty good-sized forced-nitron field in the next quadrant, and, uh, we’ve suffered some reverses.

 

BOGAN

That right?

 

STARBUCK

Blight.  And, uh, we – we need some fresh seed grain. 

 

BOOMER

And we, uh, couldn’t help but notice that your bins are brimming full, and we were hoping for the possibility of a tradeoff. 

 

BOGAN

Yeah, well, that – that – that’s an interesting idea.  Couple of strong young fellas like you would – it’d fit right in with our needs. 

 

(Dipper winks.)

 

STARBUCK

No, we weren’t talking about us, see.  We’re talking about an energizer.

 

DIPPER

How much power?

 

BOOMER

Five thousand kilons. 

 

DIPPER

Five thousand—

 

BOGAN

I don’t think, uh, that’d fit into our plans, Dipper.  

 

STARBUCK

Uh, but, eh, practically every outpost in this star system is always crying for more power. 

 

BOGAN

Oh, really?  Well, yeah, that gives you a lot of places to make deals, then, huh? 

 

BOOMER

(laughs in disbelief)

Well, that’s it?  Uh, that (laughs again) – we can’t even talk about it, sir?  Well, why don’t you take a look at her?  She’s, uh, got a nice, clean, steady current.

 

BOGAN

Well, I’m sorry, fellas, really, rea— I know, I’d like to help you.  Uh, if you want to talk about staying on and doing a job in exchange for seed— 

 

STARBUCK

I’m, uh, sorry, we haven’t got time.  Our crops are in trouble!

 

BOGAN

Well, maybe some other time, then, huh?

 

STARBUCK

Right.  Thanks anyway.

(he and Boomer leave)

 

DIPPER

Now, you know we could use that power. 

 

BOGAN

We need those two boys even more. 

 

DIPPER

Well, terrific.  Now we don’t have either one.

 

BOGAN

Wrong, Dipper.  Now we have both.

 

(Starbuck and Boomer head toward the landing site in the power sled.)

 

BOOMER

Well, what are we gonna tell Adama?

 

STARBUCK

Um, what are we gonna tell the people back at the fleet when they find out we couldn’t get seed for food? 

 

BOOMER

(shakes head)

 

(A net drops over the sled.  Three hooded men jump down from the surrounding rocks and trees and tie up Starbuck and Boomer inside the net.)

 

BOOMER

Hey, what the—

 

STARBUCK

Hey!

 

BOOMER

Ahh!

 

STARBUCK

What is this?  Hey, what the – lousy – golmonging – frakkin’ – ooh!

 

BOOMER

— get in here, man? 

 

STARBUCK

Bushwhackers!  Lousy – golmonging – thieves!

 

BOOMER

This – gah!  Hey!  What is this?

 

(The three men drag Starbuck and Boomer away from the sled.)

 

STARBUCK

Lousy golmonging thieves!  Ahh!  Frak! 

 

BOOMER

What in—

 

STARBUCK

Ahh!

 

BOOMER

What—

 

(The hooded men jump in the sled and drive it away.)

 

STARBUCK

Hey, what the—  Hey!  Lousy golmonging thieves! 

 

BOOMER

(pulls himself free of the net)

Wait, buddy! 

 

STARBUCK

(still struggling)

Ahh!

 

BOOMER

You dirty rotten crasoneys! 

 

STARBUCK

Wait.

 

BOOMER

Come back here and fight! 

 

STARBUCK

Boomer, will you cut the felgercarb and give me a hand? 

(struggling with the net)

Wid – gah!

(Boomer frees him and he sighs)

Of all the stupid –! 

(sighs again)

 

BOOMER

Well, there’s no point in talkin’ about it.  We got a long walk ahead of us. 

 

STARBUCK

It’s not that far back to town.

 

BOOMER

What do you mean, “town”?  We’ve gotta go tell the Commander what happened here.

 

STARBUCK

(sighs)

Well, you do that.  I’m goin’ back and look for the energizer.  I think I have a pretty good idea who sent them after us. 

 

BOOMER

Bogan.

 

STARBUCK

(affirming)

Ha-ahm.

 

BOOMER

(slaps hands together in frustration)

Bogan!  Now, why buy the energizer when you can steal it? 

 

STARBUCK

You got it.  All right.

 

BOOMER

Take care. 

(angrily kicks up a cloud of dust as they part ways)

 

(In the saloon, Bogan pays off Dipper.)

 

BOGAN

Well, Dipper, nice work.  Here’s twenty-five quantums for you and for each of your friends. 

 

DIPPER

Thank you, Sire.  And I want you to know that we were very, very careful not to leave any tracks to lead them back here.

 

BOGAN

Ah, that’s fine.  Good. 

 

STARBUCK

Excuse me.

 

BOGAN

Well, stranger!  Welcome back.  Hm.

 

STARBUCK

That’s real hospitable talk, Bogan.  But somebody around here isn’t quite so, uh, neighborly.  You wouldn’t happen to have noticed anybody who, uh, came in in the last couple of microns? 

 

BOGAN

No, well, people come and go around here, I don’t—  What’s your trouble? 

 

STARBUCK

Robbers.  

 

BOGAN

Not in Serenity. 

 

STARBUCK

Uh, close enough and plain enough to make it a sure bet it was one of your, eh, nice local folk. 

 

BOGAN

That’s a serious accusation, young man. 

 

STARBUCK

I’ll back it up, in time. 

 

DIPPER

Well, you’ll have to excuse me.  I have a game waiting. 

 

STARBUCK

Where’s your, uh, local law enforcement?

 

BOGAN

Uh, the, uh, town constable has – moved on. 

 

STARBUCK

Then who’s taking his place?

 

BOGAN

Oh, job hasn’t been filled yet.

 

STARBUCK

(emits a faint rattle of frustration)

 

BOGAN

I can tell from the expression on your face what you’re thinking.  But listen, I’d be careful about taking the law in my own hands unless I had suitable authority.  You know, the people – people around here, they, uh, they stick together and they really, they, they, they don’t like people who, you know, don’t have a stake in our problems.  You know, if you were willing to stay on for just a while, work, fit in—

 

STARBUCK

I told you, I have crops to get back to, people to feed! 

 

BOGAN

Yeah, but you see, you – you said that your crops were blighted and that you needed seed.  Have you – have you got the, uh, the money to pay for the seed, heh? 

 

STARBUCK

Well, I, uh, have some currency I got a yahren ago when we sold our last crop. 

(puts money on table)

 

BOGAN

Oh.  Well, you have Orion checks, Colonial cubits – well, you’ve got a little bit of everything, huh? 

(puts money on a scale)

Uh.  Huh, well, seed goes for twelve quantums a lexon.  How much you need?

 

STARBUCK

At least a thousand lexons, and, eh, twelve quantums is, uh, kinda high. 

 

BOGAN

Huh, well, it is a long way to the next agron outpost. 

 

STARBUCK

Maybe I can get this currency to, uh, grow a little.  After all, this is a chancery. 

 

(shuttle landing site)

 

BOXEY

Shouldn’t they be back by now? 

 

APOLLO

I should have gone in.  I scouted the mission.

 

ADAMA

It was important that you stay here. 

 

APOLLO

To protect the camp?

 

ADAMA

Yes.

 

APOLLO

Against what?

 

BOOMER

(arriving)

Robbers.

 

APOLLO

Oh, Boomer!

 

ADAMA

Boomer, thank the Lords of Kobol that you’re all right.  Wh-wh-wh-where’s Starbuck? 

 

BOOMER

He’s fine.

 

APOLLO

Where’s the seed?

 

BOOMER

There’s no seed.

 

ADAMA

No seed?

 

APOLLO

Where’s the power sled?

 

BOOMER

It’s gone.

 

ADAMA

Gone?

 

APOLLO

What about the energizer?

 

BOOMER

We lost that too.

 

BELLOBY

(emerging from shuttle)

You lost my energizer?

 

BOOMER

We were jumped.

 

ADAMA

By whom?

 

BOOMER

I don’t know; it all happened so fast.  We think it was a bunch from in town.

 

BELLOBY

Oh, of all the s—

 

BOOMER

Look, lady, I’d like to see you do any better than that, unarmed, with a net thrown over you.

 

ADAMA

Boomer, I’m sure that you both did whatever you could, but the important thing now is to get to Starbuck.  There’s no telling what he’s up against.  Jolly, you stay here, guard the shuttle, uh, take care of Boxey, and, uh, let’s take our lasers with us. 

 

(In the saloon, Starbuck is playing cards with Dipper, Duggy, and another man.)

 

STARBUCK

A three-level pyramid.  Cry your hearts out. 

 

DUGGY

I ain’t never even seen a three-level pyramid. 

 

DIPPER

Does it for me.

 

STARBUCK

Now, uh—

 

DIPPER

You know, I find it very odd that one person can be so lucky. 

 

STARBUCK

Yeah, another thing that’s odd, how you each had the same amount of currency to lose.  You, uh, all work together someplace? 

 

BOGAN

No, all farmer workmen here earn uniform compensation. 

 

STARBUCK

Twenty-five quantums, that’s good pay for farm work.

 

BOGAN

Yeah, I told you you might like some employment around here.  Upp – looks to me like, eh – what, are you still a little, uh, little short of buying that seed, hmm?

 

STARBUCK

Bogan, maybe you’d care to play with me head-to-head, seeing as how you, uh, seem to be the man to beat.

 

BOGAN

All right, Starbuck.  Sounds like a good challenge.

 

STARBUCK

Ehh, sit.

(the others clear out as Bogan sits and Starbuck antes a couple of coins)

Ehh, take ’em. 

 

(Meanwhile, in their camp, the Borays sharpen their spears as the moon rises.)

 

(back in the saloon)

 

STARBUCK

There it is, Bogan.  Put up or give up.

 

BOGAN

Well, I – I seem to be a little shy here, eh, I—

 

STARBUCK

Yeah.

 

BOGAN

Tell you what.  I’ll challenge.

 

STARBUCK

Heh.

 

BOGAN

If you agree to accept this as payment.

(produces the constable’s badge)

 

STARBUCK

What’s this?

 

BOGAN

That’s a shield made of solid gold.  It belonged to a fellow who’s gone now. 

 

STARBUCK

Now, what’s, uh, this writing here say?  I can– eh—

 

BOGAN

Ah, yes, the ancient tongue of the people who first colonized this planet.  They’ve – they’ve moved on across the star system. 

 

STARBUCK

Eh, it, uh, feels right, eh—

 

BOGAN

Yeah.

 

STARBUCK

’Scuse me.

 

BOGAN

Yeah.

 

STARBUCK

Yeah. 

(goes to weigh the badge)

Fella can’t be too careful when he’s away from home. 

 

DIPPER

(to Duggy)

I was wonderin’ how he was gonna get him to accept that badge. 

 

DUGGY

You mean he’s gonna let him win it?

 

DIPPER

Doesn’t matter how it comes into your possession.  Once you accept it, you accept all that goes with it. 

 

(outside, in the town)

 

BELLOBY

This is what you get when you send boys to do men’s work.

 

ADAMA

Belloby, please keep your voice down.  Those “boys” that you’re talking about know exactly what they’re doing.

 

BELLOBY

If you kiss me, I’ll tell you where the power sled is.

 

ADAMA

What?

 

BELLOBY

Well, do you want our people to starve or not?

 

ADAMA

Mm, Belloby, if this is some kind of a joke, it’s a bad one.

 

BELLOBY

You’re right, Adama.  Think of it as a small celebration for finding the energizer.

(gives him a long lingering kiss, then sighs)

I’m sorry I had to force you to do it, Adama.  But you know something?  It was worth it.

 

ADAMA

Oh, Belloby. 

(laughs)

Bargaining isn’t – isn’t begging.  And I – eh – eh – I – I’m very glad we had this time, too.  But that – that time is running out.  Where is the energizer?

 

BELLOBY

You’re practically standing on it. 

 

ADAMA

Hmm?

 

BELLOBY

Well, I found the streaks from the power sled, and they led right up to that old shed over there.

(indicating)

 

ADAMA

Belloby!

(kisses her voluntarily and runs toward the shed, taking her hand as they laugh)

 

(saloon)

 

STARBUCK

(laughs)

Well, I – (laughs) I guess this is all mine, hmm?

 

BOGAN

(laughing)

Uh, yes! 

 

STARBUCK

(laughs as he rakes in the cash along with the badge)

 

BOGAN

Congratulations, Constable.

 

STARBUCK

The name’s Starbuck.

 

BOGAN

Congratulations, Constable Starbuck.

 

STARBUCK

Uh, wai— I don’t think I g— I – um – uh—

 

(Adama enters, along with Belloby and Apollo.)

 

ADAMA

Who’s in charge here, please?

 

DIPPER

Sire Bogan.

 

ADAMA

Sire Bogan?

 

BOGAN

That’s right.

 

ADAMA

I’m Squire Adama, Lord of Bellarium.  Who’s in charge of law and order?

 

BOGAN

Ah, well, there he is.

(indicates Starbuck)

You’re looking at him.  There’s your man.  Constable Starbuck.

 

STARBUCK

(turns around to see Adama)

Hmm? 

(waves helplessly and turns away in chagrin)

 

(constable’s office)

 

ADAMA

How do you get yourself into these fixes?

 

STARBUCK

I – I was just trying to find the guys that robbed us.

 

ADAMA

And of course you expected to find them in a card game.  Where else would you look for them?

 

STARBUCK

My, uh, number one suspect was in a card game at the time.  I thought maybe I could catch him with his guard down.  I—

 

ADAMA

And what did you get out of it?  A badge which you can ill afford to wear, a loss of time, and the loss of perhaps innumerable people!

 

BOGAN

(enters)

Ah, ah.  Well, I see you moved in.  Excellent.  There isn’t much time.  The moon is almost full.

 

ADAMA

Sire Bogan, you appear to be a reasonable man.

 

BOGAN

I like to think so.

 

ADAMA

Good, because we can ill afford to lose even one valuable man, a – ab— db— d— a  mere boy, at that.

 

BOGAN

Well, I can sympathize with that.  We have the same problem here.

 

ADAMA

Then you will allow him to resign.

 

BOGAN

Can’t do that.  It’s against the law.  Oh – eh – constable is a lifetime appointment.

 

ADAMA

That’s absurd! 

(laughs)

I – I – I mean, you don’t even know this – eh, this boy.  I – eh – eh – eh – and he was – he was never appointed!

 

BOGAN

Well, he accepted the badge of office.  As for knowing him, well, now, you – you know, you seem like nice people.  You want him back so bad, he’s gotta be all right. 

 

STARBUCK

Look, if, uh, constable is a lifetime commitment, how is it you’re without one?  Didn’t you just tell me the last one left town?

 

BOGAN

I said he departed.  I didn’t say to where.  Fact is, he, uh, he died in office, heh?

 

ADAMA

After a lifetime of service to his people.  An eminently respectable position.  I’m sure that half the people in town would cherish it.

 

BOGAN

Half the people in town have had it.

 

STARBUCK

Th– that’s impossible.  Look, uh, you’re contradicting yourself.  If it’s impossible to resign, and half the people in town have held the office—

 

BOGAN

Not the half that’s still alive. 

 

STARBUCK

Beg pardon?

 

BOGAN

All right, look.  You might as well know.  We are an endangered species here.  Ever since the Borays found out that it was easier to steal food rather than grow their own, we’ve been losing our lives.

 

BELLOBY

Why don’t you get rid of the odorous vermin?

 

BOGAN

(laughs scornfully)

That’s easier said than done.  We’re not well armed here.  If it weren’t for the fact that the Borays are herd creatures, subject to following their leader Nogow no matter what he does, I daresay we’d all be dead.

 

STARBUCK

What do you mean, “they follow their leader no matter what he does”?

 

BOGAN

Very simple.  We leave our food bins unprotected, they head straight for them, and they rob us, unmolested.  Now, if any of ’em get the idea of riding into town for a drink or, shall we say, companionship, why, our constable stands at the head of the street and he heads ’em off with a few carefully-placed shots.

 

ADAMA

Oh, I see, so when the leader turns away, the others follow him.

 

BOGAN

Well, now and then one or two Borays ride past him and they grab a couple of our females, but mostly we just lose a little grain.  And of course the constable. 

 

STARBUCK

Uh, I, uh – I don’t feel so well. 

 

ADAMA

Starbuck, don’t you worry, now.  Don’t you worry at all, because we’re not going to allow you to jeopardize your life for these people.  They know perfectly well, perfectly well, that they – they tricked you into this job! 

 

BOGAN

My dear sir, I am afraid you’re, eh – you don’t understand the situation.  You are in as much danger as we are, as long as you’re here.  And – there isn’t much time. 

 

BELLOBY

What do you mean by that?

 

BOGAN

You know the Borays.  When the moon is full, it’s time to eat. 

 

(Apollo bursts in.)

 

APOLLO

Father, I think you’d better come with me.  You too, Constable, since you’re the law in this town. 

 

(Outside, they find the Borays raiding the food bins.)

 

ADAMA

Uh, Belloby, get back in the jail.  Find a cell and hide in some dark corner.

 

BELLOBY

I am not going to cower on the floor like some infant daggit… 

 

ADAMA

Do as you’re told.  Now, it’s an order. 

(Belloby stalks off in disgust)

We’ll make our stand right at the edge of town.

 

(Having finished their grain raid, the Borays make their charge toward Adama and the warriors.)

 

APOLLO

Here they come.

 

STARBUCK

Holy frak, feels like they could shake us to death.

 

ADAMA

Fire in front of ’em.  Now!

 

(They fire their lasers.)

 

APOLLO

They’re still coming!

 

STARBUCK

Now what?

 

(The warriors fire shots into the air.  The Borays begin hurling spears.)

 

ADAMA

Take cover!

 

(In the jail, Belloby loads a rifle.)

 

BELLOBY

I’m not gonna stand here and let Adama handle them all alone!  Okay.

(goes outside and is immediately abducted just before the Borays leave town)

Aaaaaahhhhh!  Nooo!  Aaahhhhhhh!  No!

 

ADAMA

Sire Bogan!  Sire Bogan!  Sire Bogan!

(Bogan emerges from the saloon)

They’ve captured our woman.

 

BOGAN

Oh, Lord, no! 

 

STARBUCK

They got Belloby?

 

BOGAN

You’re not ordinary farmers.  In fact, there’s only one legendary brigade in the whole universe that could have matched the courage which I just witnessed.  I – well, I’m honored to, uh, to be in the presence of warriors from the Great Colonies.  Now, I’d – look, I – I have to apologize for deceiving you into saving our town, but we’re – we’re desperate people here.  Anyway, you’re not like us.  You know what you have to do.  And I salute you for it. 

 

(Galactica bridge)

 

TIGH

Any communication from the surface yet?

 

OMEGA

No, sir.  No word as yet.

 

TIGH

The Commander should have gotten that seed by now. 

 

(Serenity)

 

BOGAN

Now, the, uh, the path that we’ve indicated to you is the only one we know leading into the Boray canyon.  Unfortunately, uh, we can’t describe to you how to, uh, find their camp. 

 

DIPPER

That’s right.  No one’s ever made it back to tell us. 

(hands Adama a couple of torches)

You, uh, you may need these. 

 

APOLLO

We won’t have any trouble.  Come here, Muffey!  Come here, Muffey! 

(picks Muffit up with a grunt)

Sorry to have to borrow you for a while, Muffey, but we need your tracking sensors. 

 

BOGAN

Our prayers go with you, and to the woman you love. 

 

ADAMA

(clears throat)

Much obliged. 

 

(Adama and the warriors drive off in the power sled.)

 

DIPPER

They’ve seen their last days, Bogan.  They’ll never be back.

 

BOGAN

Hope they make it, Dipper.  They’re brave men. 

 

(The power sled stops in the Boray canyon and Apollo sets Muffit on the trail.)

 

STARBUCK

One thing in our favor – Bogan says the Borays do a lot of carrying on and chanting after a raiding party. 

 

APOLLO

That’ll be a help.  Muffey, find Belloby.  Find Belloby! 

(the sled follows Muffit as Borays watch)

We’re being watched.

 

ADAMA

Yes, I know.  We have been for some time now. 

(motions Starbuck to stop the sled)

Whoa, whoa, whoa. 

(Muffit growls as if he’s found something)

Get the torches. 

 

(Muffit indicates the mouth of a cave, which they all enter.)

 

APOLLO

Nogow their leader would seem to be the key, father.  If we get him to listen to us, the rest of ’em might follow him.

 

ADAMA

Yes, he’s the one, all right.  If he weren’t so lazy, the Borays wouldn’t have started stealing their food. 

 

BOOMER

Commander.

 

(They have emerged into the Borays’ camp.)

 

ADAMA

Well, they allowed us to come this far.  Maybe they want to avoid a confrontation. 

 

(More armed Borays appear behind them.)

 

APOLLO

Father. 

 

STARBUCK

Well, eh, it looks like it’s all over, fellas, but I for one am not going down without a fight. 

 

(Nogow approaches, grunting.  He motions to the Borays to throw spears at the warriors, but Starbuck and Boomer fire their lasers in front of the attackers, dissuading them.)

 

ADAMA

You remain here.

(approaches Nogow)

 

APOLLO

Father—

 

ADAMA

It’s all right. 

(Nogow grunts)

Talk? 

 

(Nogow grunts affirmatively and the two retreat into another cave.)

 

STARBUCK

(exhales forcefully)

 

(inside the cave)

 

BELLOBY

Adama?  Oh, thank God!  What courage, what love you must have to come and deliver me! 

 

ADAMA

Belloby.

(turns to Nogow and sighs)

Look.  You love your people.  I love my people. 

 

(Outside, the Borays are restless.  One hurls down a spear from the top of a cliff and Apollo fires his laser, sending the assailant over the precipice.)

 

APOLLO

Wonder what’s goin’ on in there.

 

STARBUCK

Mm, well, no one’s a better diplomat than your father.  If anyone can get them to understand, it’s—

 

(Adama emerges from the cave.)

 

ADAMA

That is the most obstinate, self-centered, opportunistic, selfish, lazy creature I’ve ever met in my life!  He’s interested in one thing only – his own personal comforts.  You can’t bargain with a creature like that. 

 

STARBUCK

Ahem, uh, uh, Commander? 

 

ADAMA

What?

 

STARBUCK

Ah, did you say “lazy, self-serving, interested in his own pleasure”?

 

ADAMA

That’s exactly what I said. 

 

STARBUCK

Eh, could I, uh, have a word with you, please?  Uh, but i-i-in private.

 

ADAMA

All right, make it quick. 

 

(They withdraw from the others.)

 

STARBUCK

I think, uh, he and I could understand each other… 

(the grunting of the Borays briefly covers his words)

I mean, well, it – w-we’ve got nothing to lose.

 

ADAMA

No, you’re right, we t— we don’t have anything to lose. 

 

APOLLO

Starbuck, where’re y—?

(Starbuck holsters his laser and approaches the cave)

Father, what was that all about?

 

ADAMA

He’s got a – he’s got a plan.  It’s a long shot, but – it’s the best plan we have.

 

(The Borays begin menacing the party.)

 

BOOMER

Commander.

 

ADAMA

They’re working up their courage to charge.  Apollo, fire a warning round. 

 

(Apollo fires a shot and the Borays retreat.  Then Nogow comes forth from the cave, grunting at them to stand down, with Belloby and Starbuck following behind.)

 

STARBUCK

(acknowledging Nogow as he and Belloby pass)

Huh.

 

ADAMA

Belloby.  Let’s get out of here while the getting is good. 

 

(in the saloon)

 

BOGAN

(produces a voucher)

Well, this’ll, uh, this’ll entitle you to all the fresh planting seed that your ship will hold.  We’ll help you load so you can be off on your way.

 

ADAMA

Our people will be very grateful.  We have a great many to feed.

 

BOGAN

I’ll speak to the, uh, town committee about altering the charter.  That is, pertaining to the job of constable being a lifetime job.

 

ADAMA

Thank you.

 

DIPPER

And we’ll just keep on hiding and dying.

 

ADAMA

Mm, perhaps not.  Is, um, Starbuck back yet?

 

STARBUCK

Yo!  Bogan, Commander, I’ve got good news.  There will be no further raids on your food.  The Borays are going back to raising their own just like they did before you arrived.

 

BOGAN

Eh, your young man has had too much, uh, celebration, huh?

 

STARBUCK

No, I, uh, I’ve worked out a nice little arrangement with my good buddy, uh, Nogow. 

 

BOGAN

My dear young, young man, it’s Nogow who’s the heart of our problem.  He’s the good-for-nothing leader of the Borays that’s turned them into scavengers. 

 

STARBUCK

That’s right.  That’s him.  Now, you see, what I proposed is a little, uh, trade-out.  You see to it that he gets all the grain and libation that he needs, without ever having to, eh, lift a finger or mount a steed, and in return he’s willing to, ehm, take over.

 

BOGAN

Take over?  What?

 

DIPPER

The town, of course!

 

STARBUCK

No, uh, my job.  Nogow?

(Nogow enters the saloon and the patrons panic)

No, no, no, no, that’s, eh, nothing to worry about.  I’d like you all to meet Serenity’s new constable, Constable Nogow.  Somebody’d better, uh, buy him a drink.  Doesn’t like to be kept waiting.  Huh?

 

(Nogow grunts in agreement.)

 

DIPPER

(laughs nervously)

Right this way, uh, Constable Nogow. 

 

APOLLO

(laughs)

I don’t believe it.  I knew someday your poor character would come in handy.

 

BELLOBY

Oh, if only I were a few yahrens younger.

(gives Starbuck a long kiss)

 

APOLLO

(laughs)

 

BELLOBY

(to Adama)

And you.  If it were up to that diplomatic bilge you tried to sell that bork, I’d still be in his clutches.  Which, as a matter of fact, might not have been a bad idea.  Listen, I’m sorry, but I’m afraid we’ve grown in different directions.  You’re too refined and dignified.  I mean, I need somebody at my stage of life – I need a real animal. 

(to the warriors)

Come on, boys, I’m buyin’.

 

APOLLO

(to Adama)

Thank the Lord.  I just couldn’t see myself calling her “mother.”

(sighs)

 

 

-END TRANSCRIPT-

 

 

NOTES

 

When Bogan pays off Dipper for stealing the energizer, the word “quantums” is obviously dubbed over another word that may have originally been “cubits.”

 

Although Starbuck appears to continue talking during Apollo’s line “That’ll be a help,” his dialogue is not preserved in the final sound mix.